Looking Back: My Foster Care Journey So Far

(Reflecting during this break and remembering how God’s hand has been in it all)

In this pause between placements, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting. It’s a weird in-between season—grieving, processing, resting, healing—but also remembering. God has been so present through all of it, and looking back on how this journey began and where it’s led… it’s clear this has always been His story, not mine. This is my testimony.

Where It All Started: TIPS-MAPP and Overwhelm

Back in January 2021, I began the 30 hours of TIPS-MAPP training—step one in becoming a licensed foster parent. At the same time, I’d just started my school library certification classes, was teaching third grade remotely during a pandemic, and trying to keep my head above water. Looking back, it was too much at once.

My parents didn’t agree with my decision to foster then, and honestly, I understand why. I got through most of the training and then hit a wall. I was overwhelmed and ready to quit. One of the trainers called me and gently explained that if I didn’t finish, all the hours I’d already completed would expire. I sat out one class to catch my breath, did the makeup work, and finished. I’m so glad I did, even though I paused the process after that. It planted a seed I didn’t even realize would grow.

The Therapy Dog That Wasn’t

Later that year, I got a dog with hopes she could be trained as a therapy dog for school. That didn’t pan out, but looking back, it makes perfect sense—she wasn’t meant for the school. She was meant to love and comfort the kiddos in my home (my brother pointed this out). And she’s done exactly that.

Watching her snuggle up to the kids, bring them her toys, and nudge them playfully—it’s like God gave me a four-legged helper without me realizing it. Of course, she adds her own chaos to the mix at times, but her loyalty and gentleness with the kids are beautiful to witness.

Making the Decision to Try Again

By June 2023, I realized those training hours from 2021 would soon expire. Fostering had never fully left my heart, and over the two years I’d spent following foster families online, my mindset shifted. I learned more. I had time to process. I felt more prepared (as much as you can be).

My parents and I had more conversations about what fostering would realistically look like. While their initial concerns were still valid, they also saw my heart, and their support became helping prep the house per licensing regulations, gathering clothes, toys, and baby gear, and learning more about how things work. I’ve shared some of my go-to favorites in this post.

Because I’d already completed the training, the process was quicker than usual. By August 2023, my home was open. It was a leap of faith, but I knew it was time.

Early Placements and Learning to Let Go

Before I had a long-term placement, I received several calls. I said “yes” to many potential placements that ended up not coming to my home due to kinship or other arrangements. That emotional rollercoaster taught me patience and trust, even when the outcome was out of my control.

One child came to me for just 24 hours. She brought so much light in such a short time—funny, playful, and full of personality. When I received word that she would be going to a family member’s home with her siblings, I cried harder than I expected. Even with such a brief stay, the impact is real. I remember that evening she came to my home and how she adored my dog. That experience reminded me of how quickly connections can form and how sacred reunification with family (when safe) truly is.

When Big Brother Arrived

The day I welcomed my first long-term placement—“big brother”—my world changed. He was just a month old and asleep in his car seat. After the workers left, I stood there thinking, “Okay… now what?”

It was overwhelming and beautiful. My family loved him instantly. My dog wasn’t sure what to make of him but was curious and gentle from the start. My family help settle him in, answered frantic texts and calls, offered middle-of-the-night help when needed, and did so much behind the scenes that allowed me to show up and parent well.

Big brother made me a foster mom. He taught me how to slow down, be present, and how deeply love can grow in the most unexpected ways. His presence in my home shifted everything—my routines, my mindset, and my heart.

Saying Yes Again

Months later, I felt this nudge that I should prepare for another kiddo. I wasn’t sure if it was God prompting me or just my tendency to overcommit and overthink. I talked to my parents and a few trusted friends, and they all gently told me they didn’t think it was the right time. I was frustrated and unsure how to interpret that.

So, the third bedroom slowly went back to being a storage room. And then, months later, the call came for his baby brother. I was shocked—and somehow, not surprised at all. That’s how foster care works. Your world changes in a second.

I was hesitant at first. My family had questions. I had questions. But when I was told that if I didn’t say yes, they would likely move big brother to keep the siblings together… I couldn’t bear that. It was a hard place to be. The way it was approached didn’t sit well with me, but I wasn’t going to make “big brother” have another move.

After navigating the red tape of a holiday weekend, I eventually walked into a hospital alone, met this brand new baby, and brought him home after about six hours. I still don’t have the words to describe that moment. It was emotional, surreal, and quiet in a way that made the weight of it all settle in. Seeing the boys together for the first time was sweet. The first couple of months were hard, but we figured out what worked for us. Once again, I couldn’t have done without my family, especially my mom who stayed with me for a month.

The Shift from One to Two

Going from one to two under two was a big shift. I had to learn quick—how to plan everything around naps and feeding schedules, how to prioritize, how to give myself grace, all while still working full time. I also learned what I could and couldn’t handle on my own.

They both kept me on my toes. Even at the end of our time together, it was still full of snacks, spills, bedtime routines, tantrums, cuddles, and chaos. But also laughter and growth—for all of us. My dog adjusted too, this time more familiar with the pace of a newborn.

Community and Church Support

When I started going through licensing again in 2023, I joined a women’s Bible study at church. I asked one of the leaders if she knew of any other foster families. At the time, she didn’t. But she and others prayed over me, encouraged me, and asked for updates throughout the process.

Now, there are at least two other foster families in our church. Watching that shift—watching people become curious, supportive, and involved—has been one of the most meaningful parts of this journey. People have made meals, bought items from Amazon wishlists, prayed faithfully, and simply checked in.

That support has extended beyond church—coworkers, friends, family friends, and even online connections have wrapped around us. I feel the strength of a village behind me, and it’s what gives me the courage to keep going.

Growth I Didn’t Expect

I’m introverted. I like structure. I don’t love the unknown. But foster care has pushed me to speak up, ask questions, and advocate—for the kids and for myself. I’ve learned to document things better, challenge decisions when needed, and stay informed about the system I’ve stepped into.

I’ve also realized that not everyone is called to be a foster parent—but everyone can do something. Whether it’s dropping off a meal, buying diapers, praying, mentoring, or helping with errands—there are so many ways to support this work. (Ask me how you can get involved.)

Music, Healing, and Faith

Worship music is a lifeline. I have playlists for every season—especially foster care and healing. One song I clung to early on was “Always on Time” by Elevation Worship. More recently, “No Matter the Cost” by Matt Hammitt has carried me through:

“I’ll say yes to the madness, the chaos, the sadness… Yes to whatever I lose…”

Another that a friend and fellow foster mom sent after transition was “Miracle or Not” by The Worship Initiative. And lately, “Weight of the World” by Leanna Crawford has been on repeat. I could go on and on with other songs, but I’ll stop with four.

God often speaks to me through music—reminding me I’m not alone, not unseen, not forgotten.

A Verse That Grounds Me

Romans 11:36 is one I come back to again and again:

“For from Him and through Him and for Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever! Amen.”

It reminds me that none of this is about me. This is His story. His work. His glory.

Looking Back—and Forward

I didn’t expect foster care to change me the way it has. I’m not the same person I was in 2021. My perspective and priorities have changed. Some I’m still seeking direction for. I’ve seen brokenness I didn’t know existed—and also love I didn’t know was possible.

If I could go back and talk to that 2021 version of me, I’d say:
This will break you and grow you in ways you can’t prepare for. You’ll feel alone—but you’ll also find your people. You’ll question it all—but you’ll keep saying yes. And through it all, God will be there.

Because this isn’t just about child welfare.
This is Kingdom work. This is holy work.

This is my story—but more than that, it’s His.